• Marisol

The Cycle of Bipolar Feels: Depression to Manic

Imagine the anxious sensation under the ocean sea and attempting to scream? The water lures you and sways you back and forth. The waves hit you each and every one of them make you panic. In my depression days, I let those waves hit my face without panicking, wanting to be drifted away by the waves into a long deep sleep. At the moment it feels like a calm and sweet escape. That is when my mind can finally rest. Then I wake up from that lured and mesmerized subconscious by the waves. They feel so comforting yet so cold-- so numbing. The dreading sensibility of no valor. Now I am awake drifted onto the shore, numb and careless. As I gaze into the sky it feels as if each blink it gets darker. The waves that reach my body feel cold and vacant. It is dark and all I can do is gaze some more until I see the sunrise. I feel the breeze slightly kiss my forehead. I have the courage to stand up with a witty grin on my face while the warmness of the sun rays starts to feel serene. I walk along the shore to feel the sea foam on my toes. I look back and know I will go deep into the ocean again but I keep walking forward. Now I am walking for miles I see the seagulls around me, pick up seashells and enjoy the moment. I enjoy the sunshine, I run across the water sea foam. I need to take pictures of the beautiful view. I am going to join a marathon. I should start to practice right now. I jog and run some more. I come across some flowers I pick one and admire it. I go for an ice cream planning my to-do list of the goals I need to accomplish. I feel so wondrous and magnific! So awe-inspiring I can accomplish so much. Oh look I dropped my ice cream. I cry and I don't know why? I walk back slowly to the same spot where the waves consume me once again into the deep ocean where the dark is tranquil waiting for me.


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